A panda bear walks into a pub and asks the landlord for some bamboo. The landlord, although a little stunned, cuts some stalks from a bamboo plant he happens to have in this conservatory and gives them to the bear – which the bear eats. After which he pulls a gun and kills a few customers, then he just walks out. The landlord jumps over the bar and rushes out after the bear. He quickly catches up to him. “Why the hell did you do that?” he shouts, to which the bear answers calmly “It’s just in my nature.” and hands the landlord a dictionary before walking into the woods. The landlord flips to the entry for panda which says “Large bear that eats bamboo, shoots and leaves.”

OK, this is more of a groaner than a side splitter, but it does help to show the importance of context and grammar.

Here is another golden oldie; but still a funny one liner

The other day I went to the local bookshop to buy a dictionary. The assistant showed me a really cheap one. I couldn’t find the words to thank him.

Now for a few that Groucho himself might be proud of

Mary had a little lamb… and then she had some dessert.

Ice Water? Get some Onions – that’ll make your eyes water!

Well, I thought my razor was dull until I heard his speech.

Why don’t you bore a hole in yourself and let the sap run out?

Groucho was a master of wordplay, and few people have matched the hilarity of the Marx brother’s movies, still watchable and funny after almost 80 years.  After that long most people would be corpsing.