This might sound like a stupid question, but you have to understand that American politics doesn’t seem at all clear to me, or it seems, to the media in England.  That, as Rumsfeld would say is “Old England” rather than “New England”.  England (the old one) is not a state.  Oh, sure we speak English, watch bad television and are force feed American politics like it’s our own, but we don’t actually get a vote.  This is a punishment for siding with the South, or for driving on the wrong side of the road.  I forget which.

He was here this weekend, glad handing and strutting about the place like he’d already won.  Obama that is, not the other guy.  We had months of drivel about whether middle America (some faceless horde of church going borderline sexist racist men who tell their wife’s how to vote – you know in the booth with them or something, or maybe y’all vote online), will better stomach a women than some black guy from the upper PJ’s.  Well it seems that Jesse Jackson is forgotten and that girl who blew Clinton not.  Or maybe clean-cut family guy Will Smith is more popular with the masses than stick-girl pop.  Anyway youth won over beauty or whatever and he is the man for the sudo-lefties and therefore president in all but, well the votes.

Maybe after Bush’s brother had to deport all those Chads that were living in Florida, voting was seen as too much trouble.  The guy with the most money always wins right?  So why bother hassling the people to actually go outside (in case they fill up their tanks on the way).  Or maybe there is some rule about having to swap sides once a guy gets two terms in a row, you know, like in baseball, Only duller.

So here, in the rest of the world, outside of America, where 24 in every 25 people live, we only know about Obama.  Pragmatist, fresh faced, happy talking in full sentences and words we all know with pre-slaked lips.  The sort of public facing nice guy shit we all get before the election.  So maybe it’s better if you don’t vote.  Maybe that way he won’t burn villages in the home counties and send helicopters and marines to “re-appropriate” aunt Maybel’s coal from the shed at the bottom of her garden.   She does worry so.

What we don’t know is much about the other guy.  That he is old, white, male and goes to church every Sunday is a given.  Also it’s likely that he’s keen on making the world “more like home” (his home where foriegners can’t vote and clean his house / car/ boats/ nob for minimum wage or go to jail).  I also expect that his white bible has a copy of GQ inside, just to remind him of what God doesn’t like other people to do.  We don’t know what he looks like or what his name is.  Kelly maybe, like that Osboure girl.  Bah it doesn’t matter.  He’s obviously too poor to win.